Maria Pullen Reflective Journal

My script reviewer as well as my classmates and tutor  gave me lots of helpful comments and advice to improve my script.

The key comments I took on were:

• “The descriptions of environments are very strong (particularly like the house of mirrors, that’s a really cool setting) although structure wise maybe later on in the script paragraphs can be shorter just to fit in with the standard script structure.”
• Avoid large chunks of text.
• Leave Noah with evidence that the experience wasn’t a dream. – Seeing Bree in the distance or a donut in his pocket.
• Don’t forget to state sounds to help create the atmosphere.
• Space text out – relates to the amount of time the action takes.
• Formatting issues e.g. corrent spacing, capitalize sound and add brief descriptions of the main characters in their first appearance.

This week I wrote my step outline which made me focus solely on the action.

It was quite a challenge just writing the action without any dialogue but that enabled me to write visually and not rely on dialogue to progress the narrative.

My Step Outline Feedback:

• Well described through visuals
• Bree’s character goes through a good character arc
• Let the other kids show off their skills
• Reflection of the Mother is a good indicator that Noah really misses her maybe have a scene like this for the Father

 

To get more into the childish mind frame I watched  The Little Prince (both the new animated version and the original film) and Drop Dead Fred.

The Little Prince

 

Firstly I watched the new animated version of The Little Prince (2015) on Netflix which focused on a sheltered young girl who is pressured to work consistently until she meets an eccentric old man who tells her stories of a mysterious prince he met when he was younger.

The take-away:

• Childhood is precious and a child’s freedom and imagination should be encouraged.
• You don’t have to grow up when you grow old.
• A positive mind frame and a fun outlook on life can change the way you live.

 

The Little Prince 1974 focused more on the story between the Little Prince and the pilot who finds him. This film explored the strangeness of adults through the eyes of a child. How ideas of control, greed and power in the adult working world is alien to the child’s world.

The take-away:

• To a child, an adult’s world is confusing.
• Children are sensitive to adults hidden motives.
• Children aren’t dumb.

Drop Dead Fred

 

Drop Dead Fred (1991) is a film about a woman’s imaginary friend (Fred) from childhood returning after her life breaks down. In a household where she isn’t allowed to be herself even as a child, Fred allows some release as his mischief awakens her own mischievousness. The act of rebellion liberates the protagonist as she fights back against the ones who held her back in her relationship, family and work.

The take-away:

• Emotion and identity should not be suppressed.
• A true friend can reveal who you really are and remind you what’s important.
• Childhood is a magical time where anything is possible. This limitless imagination is unique children but can be embraced by adults to see their lives in a whole different way.

In mid October I started to watch a couple of episodes of the Netflix series ‘Stranger Things’ which really helped me with writing dynamic young characters.

 

Although not aimed at children, Stranger Things is led by strong child leads aged 11-14. Throughout the narrative their brains, bravery and cunning help them uncover the mystery of their missing friend.

I liked the theme of family in the series. The idea of fostered family was shown through the character of Eleven, a lost girl used as a scientific experiment, taken in by Mike and his friends and later mothered by Joyce.

Stranger Things is based in 1980s America and took inspiration from numerous 80s classics such as The Goonies and Stand By Me. I watched both films in early November to see the raw ingredients of the show and help inspire my writing.

A key similarity between these films and the Netflix series is the team of children on a mission with no/ limited help from adults. These teams often squabbled and fought each other just as much as their enemy due to their childishness but their loyalties always brought them together.

 

 

This week I brought action to the idea which was more difficult than I first thought as I had to know think about how these characters should act and when.

Before putting pen to paper I referred to the past script lectures particularly the ‘Rising action and structure’ lecture which made me think about what would be the best way to open my short film in terms of structure.

The advice that was given was that a recommended way to start is to drop the audience into the action and have them wondering what happened previously. This is why I chose to have the script open with a chase scene to get the audience engaged straight away, wondering why these kids were being chased.

In order for the audience to really feel an attachment to my main character Noah, I knew I had to show his past before that chase scene so I decided to put in a match shot to bring the narrative back to the start before Noah met Bree and the lost children to set the equilibrium.

A key piece of advice from the script lectures and workshops was the importance of visual storytelling. I implemented this into my outline by using visual signifiers to tell help tell the story. For example, I had Noah splash his little sister in the face to hint that he has inner resentment towards her and by having her walk between her parents symbolized how something has literally come between them.

Feedback: 

• Give Noah a better reason to run away. – Increase the conflict.
• Increase the force of antagonism
• Give a clearer indication of the duration of the event
• Show an obvious change in Noah – to really be evident at the end.